profile

Hi! I'm Alyssa and I'm so glad you're here.

You can check out some of my writing here and sign up for my newsletter if you want love notes, general life musings and full spectrum humanity delivered straight to your inbox!

PostsLinks
Featured Post

This Sh*t is Humbling

"I just feel really weird." I called my sister Kaela the other night after sending her a late "You up?" text, which in my 30s a "you up" text usually means: something is wrong, I need to talk. Very different than the college "You up?" text which meant: Wanna f*ck? Ahhh, the good old days. When life responsibilities were low and existential crises were years away. I've felt weird a lot in my recovery. For many weeks it was a cognitive and physical weird. Actually, it was awful. I felt awful....

8 months ago • 7 min read

Hi :) I feel shy/sheepish sending this email and sharing some of my life updates after months away but better late than never! I am still alive! I am currently writing to you while watching my dog (!!!!) "hunt" a squirrel, bless her heart. You have been here with me through my unpacking and sharing of so much heavy stuff that I feel really excited and a strong desire to share with y'all some good life things (don't worry I'll continue to write about the full spectrum of being a person, health...

2 months ago • 12 min read

On grief attacks, gratitude, not knowing who the fuck I am right now and making out when your life burns down around you: Grief attacks is what my clients would call them. Back when I worked full time as a grief therapist. The term used to describe the feeling when a tidal wave crashes over you from behind and suddenly you are surrounded by grief. You don't realize you're crying for a few seconds. It is emotion so big that there is no pushing it down. It spills out everywhere. You just have...

8 months ago • 6 min read

I'm Tumor Free Y'all!!!!! One of my best friends dubbed me a "tumor free princess" and I loved the nickname so much it's in my insta bio and maybe it'll be the title of my book or at least a chapter in that thing. I shared a lot about that over on insta-my pathology appointment, final brain MRI until next year, the miracle of my surgery and recovery. Lots more to come, I'm just really slowwwwww right now. Alright, buckle up. This is probably gonna be a long one. I have so much to say about...

9 months ago • 9 min read

This is about nighttime being the worst time and the best time. And about how wailing helps. The other night I dreamt of the moon. That she found me in the dark. It was cloudy and I was feeling lost and confused and I looked up and there she was. Full body breath, full body exhale. Home. Held. Protected. Safe. Last week I dreamt I was hiding. From zombies. I was not brave, I was not fighting back. I was hiding in an old freezer box in a garage. Terrified but doing what I needed to...

about 1 year ago • 6 min read

I'm honestly not sure how to start this letter. I've gone to write it and stopped so many times. I have no wisdom and nothing to offer here. I am just here to share what's happening with me and my experience because doing that is part of what makes me who I am. I want to give a content warning: cancer, surgery, medical stuff. Please take care of yourself and if reading this feels too much, it is more than okay to opt out. I have a brain tumor. I say it to myself at least ten times a day....

about 1 year ago • 8 min read

This is probably going to read as a diary entry. I have a lot to say (not unusual). Might be a bit longer of a read. You've been warned. Also-CW: addiction, death, grief. Keeping it easy breezy as usual over here. It's probably going to start (and stay) a bit intense but it ends with hope-I promise! Hope lives here. Also sharing a ridiculous playlist at the bottom so feel free to just grab that if want. No judgment. In this email you'll find: a few life updates/airing of the grievances...

over 1 year ago • 8 min read

Anyone feeling like they need/want to scream into the void once a day (or maybe 3+ times a day)? It feels silly to even ask if you're okay, to be honest. So many of us are very much not okay but then sometimes okay in moments. And other people really are doing okay or even better than okay and I love that for you. And for myself on the days and in the moments that I'm feeling really good. The question I keep coming back to for myself, my clients, my loved ones is this: What if you let it be...

over 2 years ago • 6 min read
Share this page